"i missed you every hour.  and you know what the worst part was?  it caught me completely by surprise.  i'd catch myself just walking around to find you, not for any reason, just out of habit, because i'd seen something that i wanted to tell you about or because i wanted to hear your voice.  and then i'd realize that you weren't there anymore,  and every time, every single time,  it was like having the wind knocked out of me." -- leigh bardugo