i'm trying to figure out my summer plans, and so far its been a whirlwind of stressfulness. i think this is may be because i'm so focused on what i want. more than anything my heart wants to be back at camp on the crystal coast, with wonderful children and wonderful people and the beautiful neuse river. i'm starting to realize that this really may not be able to happen, and i'm really trying my best to take it with the right attitude, but right now i'm having a hard time. maybe for some unseen reason i'm not supposed to be at camp this summer, and while i can't think of why i need to let go. well, i'm still going to fight to see what i can do, and actually pray about it with an open heart (which i've found is much harder said than done). if i let God in and see what he has to say about it i know things will go the right way. and if seafarer doesn't work out i'm going take it as a blessing in disguise and see what other plans God has waiting for me this summer.