i know i've been full of words lately, but let me share with you part of the last chapter of one of the best books i have ever read: cold tangerines (by shauna niequist)

"i believe in a life of celebration. i believe that the world we wake up to every day is filled to the brim with deep, aching love, and also with hatred and sadness. and i know which on of these i want to win in the end. i want to celebrate in the face of despair, dance when all we see on the horizon is doom. i know that death knocks at our doors and comes far too early for far too many of us, but when he comes for me, i want to full-tilt, wide-open, caught in the very act of life. i think that's what we're here for, not for a passive, peaceful life, but to stand up in the face of all that lacks peace and demand more...

that's what i want my life to be, like a well-loved gift. i think life, just life, just breathing in and out, is a great gift. God gives us something amazing when he gives us life, and i want to live with gratitude. i want to live in a way that shows how much i appreciate the gift. if life were a sweater, i would wear it every day. i wouldn't save it or keep it for a special occasion. i would find every opportunity to wear that sweater, and i'd wear it proudly, shamelessly, for days on end...

it's rebellious, in a way, to choose joy, to choose to dance, to choose to love your life. it's much easier and much more common to be miserable. but i choose to do what i can do to create hope, to celebrate life, and the act of celebrating connects me back to that life i love. we could just live our normal, day-today lives, saving all the good living up for someday, but i think today, just plain today is worth it. i think it's our job, each of us, to live each day like it's a special occasion, because we've been given a gift. we get to live in this beautiful world. when i live purposefully and well, when i dance instead of sitting it out, when i let myself laugh hard, when i wear my favorite shoes on a regular tuesday, that regular tuesday is better..."

i probably could've posted the whole chapter, but geez she just knows , she just knows whats up. praying to live my life full of celebration and take on everyday with this kind of mentality.

"the shock of the twenties is how narrow  that window of experience  really is, and how inevitable it seems both at the time and  afterward. at some point, it is late, too late, and you are  standing on the sidewalk outside somewhere very loud. a wind is  blowing. it's the same cool, restless late-night breeze that blew on trampled  nineteen-twenties lawns, dazed sixties  streets, and anywhere young  people gather. nearby, someone who doesn't smoke is smoking. an attractive  stranger with a lightning  laugh jaywalks between cars  with a friend, making eye contact before scurrying inside. you're far from home. it's  quiet. all at once, you have a thrilling  sense of nowness, of the sheer potential  of a verdant night with all these unmet  people in it. for a long time after that, you think you'll never  lose this life, those dreams. but that  was, as they say, then." -- Nathan Heller's  "Semi Charmed Life: The Twentysomethings are all right"  (the new yorker)

thursday night thoughts.

committing to more reading and reflecting this fall.

ps. its wednesday (so happy hump day! and some happy thoughts, also all of these reminded me of camp)

hey there i'm back from my 11 week run at camp seafarer, maybe i'll get to that later if not i'll leave it in my memories and be content knowing i could never put into words the sheer magic of that wonderful place... last night we went for homemade ice cream at our best family friends' house, i won't get into the connections of how our parents have been lifelong friends and now the second generation is joining in. we were all just sitting around the table chatting, laughing enjoying each other's company and i almost wanted to burst into tears. i was feeling so extremely thankful for these people in my life. for those second parents who love me unconditionally, for best friends who seem like brothers and sisters and have been through everything with me, for grandparents who seemed like my own and have given me a glimpse of what it means to have grandparents since i never had the opportunity to experience mine, for extended family that pulls you in and treats you as their own. its those moments, sitting around the kitchen table on a humid but cool summer evening that date back to my childhood and that i look forward to carrying me through the rest of my summers and falls and winters, because its these people that love me that continue to bring so much happiness and joy to my heart. i was reading about our definitions of "family" today, and how they change as we grow up, and that could not be more spot on. my family extends beyond the people with whom i live, and i need to thank God more for blessing me with the greatest family i could ever have imagined.

"people need to be encouraged, people need to be reminded of how wonderful they are. people need to be believed in - told that they are brave and smart and capable of accomplishing all the dreams they dream and more. remind each other of this" -stacey jean speer

thankful for the fact that this is one of the many things camp seafarer is best at. its been a great summer, looking forward to making it a great last week here on the crystal coast.